He also included a dispatch from the previous evening's softball game, from the excitement of the opening huddle to the crushing defeat. He lets himself be vulnerable too, sharing memories of the beloved dog he had to put down, the long drive home from the vet when he could not stop crying.We have not spoken on the phone, but that's normal when you meet online.

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He knew he was smarter, but she was beautiful and kind, and that was enough for him then.

We talk about books, and he says his wife doesn't excite this part of his brain.

A scientist poking at his marriage in a petri dish, outlining the shape of his discontent.

He didn't have sex with the first woman he met from the site, so he doesn't feel guilty.

I get a smile on my face when I have an email from you."He wants something from me that is not sex, even if it is disguised as sex. "Why is it I get the feeling I'm missing out on something very important? He says checking his email is his favorite time of day.

Here on a site where the idea, ostensibly, is to facilitate no-strings-attached affairs, a lot of men are trying to forge real bonds. He thinks of me at work, he thinks of me when he is birdcalling. On Ashley Madison, wives are mostly reduced to pronouns, and in that reduction they are less a human than a fact that shares their home.It was wild, he says, and then puts his hand on my leg. is 32, tall and slim, and has been married for two years. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy."What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.He's been with his wife since they were just out of college. I remove his hand from my leg; I tell him he doesn't look like a father. He says he did not marry the wrong woman, that he'd want to stray no matter who he was with. In one of his emails, he says he can't write too much, but there are 800 words, and pictures of him and his children. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted.It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.When he is standing on the soccer field and children are moving around in a blur, he says, he slips out of the game and thinks of me, and if his Black Berry vibrates in his pocket, he hopes that it is me.He says he likes it rough, and tells me he cheated for the first time a few months ago.