Average dating period before marriage
In the meantime, the "we're already committed" rationalization tends to make couples feel free to act in all sorts of ways they didn't before, and every argument I've made in this series applies ), but that doesn't mean that anyone who uses that language is automatically correct.
As a quick theological aside on guidance, God does not primarily lead His people by mystic feelings in the pits of our stomachs about what He wants us to do.
When two people are dating — especially when it's going well and two people are really into one another — the desire to spend more and more time together, to know each other better and better, to confide in each other more and more often and exclusively, is overwhelming.
As your general comfort level around each other rises, that momentum grows even more. We'll assume, per another clear principle from Scripture, that both members of our college couple are Christians.
I've arrived at this conclusion by thinking through a number of biblical principles.
One of our bedrock governing principles in biblical dating — and in how we treat our brothers and sisters in Christ generally — is not to "defraud" our single brothers and sisters by implying a greater level of commitment between us and them than actually exists (see 1 Thessalonians 4:6).
I've spoken to numerous "long-dating" couples, in college and beyond, who other than living together, could do little to intertwine their lives any more than they already are.
They see each other every day, are with each other's families every holiday (and often know their partner's family as well as any son or daughter-in-law does), they travel together, spend most of their non-working (or studying) time together, they daily confide in one another (and maybe one another), and are without doubt, closer emotionally with one another than with anyone else on the planet.
He leads us primarily by His Word, and we are to look there first and primarily for guidance about how to live and make decisions.
God does not ever "call" or "lead" His people into sin, or even into folly or biblically responsible choices. Choice one is to get married anyway and work your way through.
In fact, they are usually really enthusiastic about doing so.